Clean All

I was damn busy, Appa wanted some proof receipts of the LIC premium paid.I had to take out a file in which these receipts were filed.I take the file, run through to find out the receipts, there is paper and clutter all around, my mobile phone rings and in a hurry to reach out to my phone, I accidentally kicked the glass of bournvita that was kept and the spilled bournvita very rightly flows on all the whole lot of papers scattered.I reach up to my phone and it happens to be a wrong number.I am damn irritated, and I decide to give up.Just then, there was a lightning thought that I could indeed use this as a chance to sort out the papers and trash the unwanted papers, bills,etc.I patiently did that and waahh, my file now has only relevant stuff and no rubbish.


But, now that I sorted out all the clutter, I dont want this to happen again.I only wish that I be more regular in sorting and disposing the unwanted stuff than wait for a situation like this!

These kids I say...

Kids say the darnest things and take you by surprise.

Since I live in an apartment, anything/anyone coming to my house is strictly scrutinised by one of my flat mate and more precisely their 4 year old son.This little boy wud follow the visitors to my house so religiously just to see what they talk and what they eat at my home. Nothing/ no one can come to my place without his knowledge. So did my A/c. I purchased an A/c this April and as expected, this boy was right there when the A/c was delivered at my home.He came in and sat along with me, kept saying that he would stay with me to see how the A/c wud function. He kept comparing the A/c at their house with mine. Mine is a split A/c while theirs is a window A/c.Now goes the conversation we had

BOY: unga aathula periya A/c. enga aathula chinna A/c
ME: aamaam. aana ellam onnum thaan ( me thinking not to discriminate bwn things)
BOY: periya A/c na romba jillunnu irukkuma?
ME: aamaam
BOY: nee ellamey perusa thaan vanguviya?
ME: appdi onnum illiye
BOY: A/c um perusu, tv um perusu, bedum perusu
ME: not knowing what to say, tried diverting him to something else and offered him some fruits to eat
BOY: enakku fruits pidikkathu
ME: trying to advise him, fruits healthukku nallathu, konjam saapdu
BOY: enakku pidikkathunu sollrenla
ME: pidikkathunnu ethayumey solla koodathu. konjam saapdu

Here comes the dialogue totally unexpected

BOY: nee nalla sambathikkara, periya a/c, periya tv, periya bed ellam vechurukka, yean ippdi fruits saapda sollra? pizza, laysnu ethavathu enakku vaangi tharalamla?

Who has got the better of this conversation?
He took me by surprise totally. I did not speak a word after this, and dropped him back at his home.

Murungakkai

I have never had a fancy eating MURUNGAKKAI. Infact, I have been annoyed with this vegetable quite many times.Ask me why?I started detesting sambhar because of the murungakkai added in it.I always prefer vetha kuzhambu to sambar cos vetha kuzhambu can be made even without any vegetables, but by adding some manathakkali vethal.But for sambhar, you need to add vendaikkai or murungakkai. My appa has always felt murungakkai does better justice to the sambhar and that left amma with adding lots of murungakkai to it.I had no qualms with vendaikkai cos as the cliche goes, I was told "vendaikkai is the vegetable which helps me improve my mathematical abilities"( anyways that dint help me in becoming one mathsla puli).But I happily stuck to vendaikkai and disowned murungakkai.

But it wasnt that easy to ignore this vegetable.I agree it has a nice flavour, tastes nice, but many times it gets stuck in your thorat. Sometimes I wonder if people took some special training to chew the murungakkai. I am sure even a cow if competing with our men would loose its race in chewing a murungakkai.How is it that our people manage to chew it so violently?.I always associate eating murungakkai with embarassament. Another thing was washing the plates after my appa/ chithappa or the guests ate. I dreaded doing this especially when there was the violently chewed murungakkai in the plates and I had to trash them before washing the plates.And then on, I close my eyes before trashing the chewed murungakkai and also wash my hands with soap after I trash.

No longer committed

Oh, how do I write this? I am finding it difficult to express myself. It was 4 yrs since I was committed, and ya it was immediately after my schooling.Amma never liked this relationship of mine.So it was but obvious that she dint approve of it.But I dint want to listen to her cos we had a good understanding. Just like in any relationship, we too dint get along all that well initially, but as years rolled by, we were thick n thin.We were seen together most of the times.I started spending most of my weekdays and sometimes my weekends with my love.we got along pretty well. Inspite of ammas repeated pleads, sometimes shoutings, I continued with my relationship, ignoring all that she said. This continued for a while until amma cudnt take it further. And she just threw my old, worn out school uniform out of my cupboard and later handed it over to my maid servant asking her to take it away. This time, she happily ignored my crying, pleads and shoutings .

Children who aren’t allowed to stay young

Are kids being treated as kids? I am afraid they are not. Being a child prodigy is no longer a blessing. These kind of things only spawn huge expectations Invariably, kids are expected to perform exceptionally well-each time, and every time. The talent of a child needs to be nurtured, but it is often seen that children with exceptional skills/quality become a victim of parental pressure or fall into the trap of expectations. Parents have very high expectations and want to fulfill their dreams through their children. Parents become nervous if their children do not fulfill such dreams. And its not just parental pressure, but peer pressure also pushes a child to perform exceptionally well.

One of my flatmate says that she should join a particular course / class, just because her friends have also joined the very same class. And the sad part is that her mom approves of her attitude.

Wont expecting the child to do well everytime become a burden for the kid? This often makes me wonder if being super talented is more a bane than a boon. And the recent news about a 15 year old boy performing a C section clearly shows that he is a victim of parental pressure or rather too much pressure to outperform others of his age. Similarly, the news of a 5 year old Budhia creating a record(??) by running 65 kms gave me jitters. Now, the poor kid is being expected to do more. I am so cross with such parents who want their kids to be over achievers. Why should the parents be so obsessed with making their child do some exceptional stunt like recalling the country name by the mere look of the country’s flag or use computers at the age of 1 or 2? Why should every little thing be treated as an opportunity to outperform than just taking it as an opportunity to learn? My parents never tried forcing things on me, or kept preaching that I should use every opportunity to outperform someone.

Why cant we just treat the kids AS kids? Their inherent and inborn talents and genuine abilities should not be suppressed. The children should be let to decide what they want to do or what they want to become, with the parents efficiently guiding them towards that.

I am glad that all these ring an alarm in me. If I could have one wish for my child, it would be that he is a happy person always and am ok if he is not successful, but all am concerned is that he is at peace with himself.

Birthdays

I wud make no mistake on this. It feels really bad to get old.I never felt this way when I was in my teens. Even my 18-20 age birthdays seemed to be fine.But now, after a couple of years of my 20th brithday mark( U thought I wud reveal my age here?)I feel a little bad to face the peak of adulthood.I can no longer do things much to my will, anything I do is flung back to me with a comment" poruppa nadanthukko, innum 6 maasathula kalyanam".

Some signs to tell you that you are getting old

When anyone and everyone talks to you only about getting married, but not stop there and talk further about family, kids, responsibility et all

When all your friends start telling you " enjoy to the fullest now,you wud never get these days back" - as though there is no tomorrow

When you get mails from classmates / batchmates sharing the news of their marriage & kids

When the kids are told to address you as aunty instead of akka

When young cousins talk about some new mobile technology, new hang out places, new restaurants and you just blink


Every year, I excitingly wait for my birthday, but the day comes, I start feeling that this day should never end.But it always happens that I get a year older at the end of the very same day.Sometimes, I even dream of people giving me sympathetic looks as though I have lost all my charm.Its impossible to stop thinking like this and sometimes, such kind of dreams become an integral part of your sleep. Hhhhhmmmmmmmm....





And now, just 3 days after my birthday, I again eagerly wait for the next one.

My daddy strongest!!!

"It doesn't matter who my father was; it matters who I remember he was." - Anne Sexton "

There could be no other time if not now, for me to write this. ( I know this post is a day late, but better late than never!)

For all the pamperings that you have showered on me

For all the hardships that you went through inorder to get me to whatever I am today

For all the games we played, outings that we have had

For being so unselfish, generous and always giving

For all the things that you have got me even before I asked for it

For calling me subbudu( I loved the name just cos u called me so appa)

For trusting me completely and giving me all the freedom to do/ talk what I want

For letting me make my own choices



Appa, I love u for all this and much more. I still remember, how everytime you happen to go for an eat out, but dont eat there, instead pack it up and bring it home for me all the way. I have not seen you buying a new dress for yourself, they were so rare.You dont take leave, no new shoes and you dont waste anything. Save and squirrel every little thing and spend it on your kids.I am so proud of being your daughter. I wish to be as nice, gentle, unselfish, generous,sacrificing as you are appa.

Happy Fathers Day appa

Subbudu

As I grew up ...along with her

@ the age of 3, I wondered who the other human being who is growing up with me in the same house

@ the age of 6, I hated her, thought she was my competitor

@ the age of 10, I missed her occasionally for she was away from home for her schooling

@ the age of 11, I fought with her for every little thing - including as to who gets the most roasted part of the potato fry my amma makes

@ the age of 12, I realised that she is indeed my blood and loved her too.I started going by whatever she told me -right from going out, to the dress selection , to the hairstyle I shud have

@ the age of 13, missed her terribly when her work kept her away from home

@ the age of 14,I gave her a huge list of things I wanted when she returned from Singapore & Malaysia and she dint make even the slightest fuss to get all that I wanted

@ the age of 16, I used to be glued to the comp just to recieve her mails updating us all about her day to day life in the USA and I used to take immense pride in showing her US snaps to my friends

@ the age of 17, I hated to be alone, when she got married. I still curse that video photographer who took some videos of me crying at the wedding hall when she got married.

@ the age of 18, I felt so nice when she was the first to send me a beautiful mail about my milestone of attaining 18 years.

A few years have rolled by after all these that are mentioned above, and how do I feel now?
Though we still argue over somethings, I feel so blessed that I have such a wonderful SISTER. She has only given me more and more.


My dear "B", I truly look up to you.

Some fond memories...

Amma packing atleast 4 - 5 snack boxes, juices for me when I was in KG class

Carrying ice cold water in my water bag, ( I was the only one in my class who used to bring ice water) & class fellows and teachers alike asking me for some ice water

The sports day at school, filling my MILTON water bag with ice water and orange juice and the sulking expression when someone asked for water

Going way early to school on the reopening day just to reserve a better bench seat near to my favourite friend

Praying that the school bus breaks down on the way especially when I have some exams/ midterms

Cycling all the way to school in my lady bird. We were 3 girls cycling together to school

Computer classes,. me and my frnd used to goto a juice shop everyday after the class.Invariably, the times spent outside the class was more than the time spent inside the class.

Flaunting a new dress on my b'day. I used to get all the attention from my batchmates that day

Rendering a speech, or singing a prayer song in the school assembly.( Used to think of myself as a heroine!!!)

Matrimonial Woes

Bharat Matrimony , one of the biggest matrimonial services provider on the web.Claims itself to be a matrimonial platform, and boasts of some 7 lakh success stories- I mean married and happily ever after couples!There are umpteen number of testimonials from happy users.For sure, one tends to get carried away on seeing the testimonails there...but wats to be remembered is that its only a tool which facilitates the entire process of finding a suitable match. And this tool wud work wonders only if its used the right way.

But the whole process looses its significance, the trust and becomes shaky when people lie in their profiles.I even had one of my college friend who used to put up fake profiles, however she stopped it after we gave her some severe warning.And its all the more frustrating when ppl dont even take the pains to read thru ones profile and then send requests.

One of my friend "S" got a proposal from a guy. And the guy mentioned, "if you like me, you keep me, else forward me to your other friends'.Obviously he talks about his profile, but what does he think? It sounds as if he gets my friend do a broker job by passing it along to others

One of my other friend "S", gets interest mailers from guys much younger to her,. Comeon, cant they even take some time to check up the profile and other details and then send the mail?

This was just one case. There is one more to add to the woes. There came a mail from the prospective boy's father stating some general details about the boy, his family and that elderly person had even mentioned like " we wish to see you as the bahu ( meaning daughter in law) of our house."Any girl would get carried away on seeing this. The guy was working for one of the top notch companies and was a green card holder. They planned to come down to see her in January. My friend was all excited, but, they never came. And the same elderly person who sent a mail earlier, again sent a mail saying, my son has resigned his job from the US,and he is not in a mood to discuss marriage now. Wont this shatter her? Oh pls for god's sake, Why should one commit or sound so nice and sugary even before things take a shape?

Another friend "K", got one such matrimonial proposal from a guy who is a doctor in UK.They exchanged snaps, liked each other and decided to meet sometime when the guy would come to India.His profile stated he was 5'9" in height. "K" is 5'7".They met soon, and "K" was in for a shock, this guy could not even have been 5'5".Now, why did he conceal such an important information? Isnt one''s height one of the most important criteria in a matrimonial search? It pissed her off enough.

I do understand that some parents are so anxious/ eager as to not let go off the suitable match . But whats the point of lying in one's profile? Such a person would never be able to win any trust . cos lying in your profile is like taking the other person for granted even before you have met him or her.

Why cant people be simple and straight forward and easen out the already tiresome process of signing up to the service, paying some bucks for the service, putting up your photos, tracking suitable profiles, sending interest mailers etc etc?The already existing process of finding a match itself is tedious, and to add to the fuel, why lie or conceal important information and make things worse?All this is done due to fear of rejection.. then why lie at all?I am sure everyone would want the search to end sooner. So why not be simple, forthright and straight forward? It would help one in finding "The Partner" pretty soon, much before they get worn out.