Wednesday, July 4, 2007

Children who aren’t allowed to stay young

Are kids being treated as kids? I am afraid they are not. Being a child prodigy is no longer a blessing. These kind of things only spawn huge expectations Invariably, kids are expected to perform exceptionally well-each time, and every time. The talent of a child needs to be nurtured, but it is often seen that children with exceptional skills/quality become a victim of parental pressure or fall into the trap of expectations. Parents have very high expectations and want to fulfill their dreams through their children. Parents become nervous if their children do not fulfill such dreams. And its not just parental pressure, but peer pressure also pushes a child to perform exceptionally well.

One of my flatmate says that she should join a particular course / class, just because her friends have also joined the very same class. And the sad part is that her mom approves of her attitude.

Wont expecting the child to do well everytime become a burden for the kid? This often makes me wonder if being super talented is more a bane than a boon. And the recent news about a 15 year old boy performing a C section clearly shows that he is a victim of parental pressure or rather too much pressure to outperform others of his age. Similarly, the news of a 5 year old Budhia creating a record(??) by running 65 kms gave me jitters. Now, the poor kid is being expected to do more. I am so cross with such parents who want their kids to be over achievers. Why should the parents be so obsessed with making their child do some exceptional stunt like recalling the country name by the mere look of the country’s flag or use computers at the age of 1 or 2? Why should every little thing be treated as an opportunity to outperform than just taking it as an opportunity to learn? My parents never tried forcing things on me, or kept preaching that I should use every opportunity to outperform someone.

Why cant we just treat the kids AS kids? Their inherent and inborn talents and genuine abilities should not be suppressed. The children should be let to decide what they want to do or what they want to become, with the parents efficiently guiding them towards that.

I am glad that all these ring an alarm in me. If I could have one wish for my child, it would be that he is a happy person always and am ok if he is not successful, but all am concerned is that he is at peace with himself.

8 comments:

priya said...

Too good shubha i agree with ur view and u would be a very good mother to ur child.Thats right kids should be treated as kids and left free.day by day i look forward to what is the next one u would right. i ahve become great fan of ur blog and u write very interesting stuff and good work keep it up.

ss said...

@ priya
i cant think of any other word than a THANKS and i mean it. guess u have gone overboard in complementing..but thanks a lot again.

sudha said...

Shub
well written.Parents see their dreams thru their kids, and further dont even prepare the kids to face the failure. good post re

MMC said...

A very relevant post....

I'm of the view that it's the parental pressure that's behind all these antics...

To add on to your egs, I saw a news report on one channel (CNN-IBN?)that the child artiste who acted as SRK's & Preity's son in that awful movie KANK is actually a girl!! The child seems to be suffering from an identity crisis, it seems.

On a lighter note, hv u already decided upon the gender of your kid?! ;) Just kidding!!!

ss said...

@ sudha
oh ya, i see that happening in that airtel junior pgm. sad of those kids. wat do u xpect from the kids wen parents themselves break down for such trivial stuffs?

@ mmc
gender fo the kid? nahin re, i was generally referring as HE..u cud say SHE if u want to.and am only suprised that y parents do this? my parents never treated me the same. they just let me be wat i wanted to.

Clueless said...

Awwww..wat a topic to rant about, well said shub.I can easily relate with the airtel super singer junior pgm, parents should not try to live their dreams through their children and should also prepare their children to face failures

ss said...

@ AJ
thats a true observation abt airtel junior singer programme- i have seen parents getting angry at the judges. we cant blame the kdis, went he parents themselves r holding onto the outperform concept

Praveen said...

Oye.All parents want their children to shiney and be special rite.So some pressure will be there..but in the same time the child shld not be burdened or stressed more.Both the things shld be handled with mutual consent rite.So i somewhat agree n somwhat disagee with ur point.hmm!!!