Friday, August 24, 2007

Welcome to the world of perverts

Happened to endure one kind of a street harassment today.Whatever you call that- eve teasing or street harassment.Nevertheless, I gave it back to that old scumbag who passed some lewd comments.Is there any girl who lives and has not been harassed outside her home? ( Baahh,it happens even in home)I dont think so.The earliest experience that I can remember very clearly was when I was 9 years old when a person well known to my family pinched me on my stomach. It dint strike me then as to what his intentions were, but that pinch did hurt me.I did not really know the inappropriateness in his actions, but I always avoided going near him.Welcome to the world of perverts!Another incident was when I was 10 years old where in I stayed at my relative's house as my appa had got a transfer at a not-so appropriate time. That was hell. I used to sleep with my aunt and all covered from head to toe with a bedsheet and inspite of that her son used to constantly lift the bedsheet in the middle of the night.To think of it all now, makes me plain sick.

Train incidents are many.Many a time, you would have been groped, pinched, slapped from behind or atleast touched .I am no exception.Once when I was travelling from Chennai to Kerala along with my parents.I was sleeping on a middle berth and wokeup with an uneasy feeling around 2 in the night. There was a guy on the opposite berth who on the pretext of getting down, everytime,brushed his hands against my chest.I am NOT ashamed to recall/ recount these instances. And then once when me and my friend went cycling near my flat on a lazy afternoon, a sort of lonely street, a guy on a motorbike stopped near us on the pretext of asking directions.While me and my friend concentrated on giving the directions, he groped my friend's breasts.And he sped away even before we could realise what had happened.

We girls never spoke about it to our parents.Instead of being outraged by all this, we felt embarassed and ashamed as though the sin was committed by the sinned and not the sinner.And the tales we heard from our friends during college were horrifying.Those times, we were blaming ourselves.And the girl power did help.And now, a guy pinching you on your butt gets back a knock in return. IT IS NOT OUR FAULT. Such perverts exist and thats a hard fact to digest.Incidents like these, always keep me suspicious about men.Trust me, telling your mom or your sister that your breasts were groped or you were pinched in your thighs is not easy.I am glad that I have gained the courage to talk about street harassment loud and clear, but then there are many who are traumatised.Atleast we have someone at home to tell things, what about the street children? Its time we gain courage, speak out, brave ourselves and give it back to the lechers.



Ps: This post doesnt apply to the nice men who would be hurt that women are suspicious about every man. For god's sake, dont be a whiner. This is just a personal experience and I just got it out of my closet. Kindly dont make an issue out of it.

17 comments:

smyLeMaKEr said...

We either need a 100% conservative society with STRICT norms that none dares to indulge in any such nasty stuffs
or
We would need 'fuck-U' / 'seruppu pinjidum rascal' mindset women, like in 'most' western countries

I appreciate that you have gained courage to give-back. That is the ONLY solution I feel. Our Indian law system AND social system, {on the ground} very much favours to women who kick those perverts. It is only when women "fail" to give-back but try to pursue through courts to punish the guilty, that the system doesnt aid much...

It is beyond question that the perverts are picking on the 'weakness' and need to be punished. But, simultaneously, my style of solution is to narrow down the 'weakness' while also punishing the guilty!

sudha said...

hey Shub well written re...Well i hv also come across such scums while travelling in buses in my college days ...but i was bold enuf to give a kick box..seriously i too feel bad wen i come across incidents of child abuses especially the poor and the destitutes....inhumane ppl who lack morality r the part of the society...ALL i wanna add is tat NEVERRRRR hide behind...plzzz speak out.. ..hats off to u my friend well written...

ss said...

@ SMYLEMAKER
how about these?
1.The only way to counter eve-teasing and similar harassments is for women to stand up to the guys and make it clear in no uncertain terms that women are not to be trifled with, that they are no different from guys

2.the public in India is very supportive esp wen someone is sexually assaulted.y dont the girls make use of it and create a ruckus? like lets say, u r enduring one such incident, y not abuse the guy the back vocally- n loud enuff for everyone to hear? something like breaking outt he molester's act in public and make him feel ashamed?

I am sure every girl wud have a story to narrate.lets say u give a questionnaire kind of a thing to a girl with questions like have u been groped/ pinched/ kissed/ touched..am sure she wud tick mark all the options there

ss said...

@SUDHA
I give it to u. I am also saying that we neednt hide and get goin in the crowd.I had some frnds who were so ashamed of themselves, their body just bcos some lecher had passed off a dirty comment..all that i wanted to convey thru this post was that there is no need to b ashamed, and instead one must pick uo the courage to fite bck.

Sriram said...

Subha nee nijamaa yezhuthaalar polaam.. aduttha shivashankari range la oru puratchi pannalaam.
amazing.. unnoda courage ai naan paarattaraen.. this is wat Bharathiyar wanted his pudhumai pengal to be.
Unfortunately yellaa oorlayum aangal ipdi dhaan irukkaanga..
idhellaamae flesh and blood dhaan nu pala aperukku thonardhu illa..
veri pidichu alayaraanga..
adhu sinnadhaa irundhaalum veri dhaan..
indha nilamai maaranumnaa seruppaala adikka yaarum thayanga koodaadhu..
hats off subha..

YOGESH KUMAR said...

These perverts surely deserve ignominy.
But there are rare cases of innocent people being punished also. This incident happened to me, I was 15 by then and was travelling in a crowded bus. Holding a bag in one hand, I was trying to reach my shirt pocket using the other to get the change.OOps, there was a sudden brake and i lost balance as my hand weren't holding onto anything and fell on a middle aged woman standing in front of me. I instantly apologised, but she started bitching aloud. she looked to be the same age as my mom and i was deeply embarrassed. Not that i blame the lady, but the society had
created a rather vicious atmosphere where unintentional incidents are also being chastised

ss said...

@SRIRAM
the idea behind this post was not to boast of a post from my side. Its sad that these things happen, but then, if we can brave them, then there is nothing like that.and u knw many times, its the old thathas who actually r so cheap .


@YOGESH
Oh u were caught sometime for no fault of urs? I totally undstand that..enna pannarathu , many times, innocent ppl r taken for a ride while the actual culprits r let off.

Clueless said...

puthumaip pengale puratchi seyveer!

*****thunive thunai******

smyLeMaKEr said...

@subha...

simple soln lies in the 'affected' (which in this case is MOSTLY women) to start approaching MEN n WOMEN similarly. Lemme give an example:

A woman shouts and even abuses when she is slightly pushed by another female in a crowded bus. But, when she gets a feeling that she could be consciously molested, she prefers to move from that position or somehow 'avoid', which is like handing out an appreciation of "Good work; keep going"...

this kind of escapist / too-busy mindset is one of the rootcauses for many evils thriving and even flourishing in our 'conservative' socities!

Again, theres no doubt that the guilty needs to be punished; and my points are steps beyond the basics

ss said...

@CLUELESS
puratchi ellam onnum illai, guess its something very normal

@ SMYLEMAKER
Amen!!!
I guess most of them choose to ignore things which unfortunately is very sad.I am totally with wat u say

Papu said...

Ellathukkum "sabalam" thaan karanam...sariyana vadikaal illathavanga ellam ippadi thaan alairanga...they just need an outlet for their whatsoever which they cannot offord to get either by speding money(velai vetti illathavanukku eppadi kasu varum) or through a proper channel(athe velai vetti illathavana yaar kalyanam pannipa)

pooja said...

I appreciate you for raising this in a blog.This post has made me void for sometime.Just donot understand what is the pleasure in feeling a 12-13 year old with no chest.I have my own woes to add too.Some bloody guy tried pinching me once when I travelled by bus, but I was too scared to open up about it to my mom, but given the same situation now, I will beat the hell out of him

very neat post lady.You truly caught me numb for a while.

ss said...

@PAPU
sabalam. or rather enna reason venumnaalum irukattum. but I wud only suggest my felow mates to brave these pervs for the simple reasont hat we cant stop these pers from doin all these cheap stunts.


@POOJA
As i already said, am sure every girl wud have a tale to narrate. and thats really sad

Albert Einstein said...

Yaru ennanu pakkama SERUPPALA ADICHA than seriyagum. But just few people doing that might make them look for someone else. This has to come from WITHIN for everybody!!!!.

ss said...

@ ALBERT
I personally am not sure as to how this "seruppala adikkarathu" wud work out. nevertheless, i feel one can always make the whole issue vocal- loud enuff for everyone to know . that wud make the eprvs feel ashamed

Praveen Daniel said...

Oh oh!!!...U have so boldly shared these things...Hats off to U..Me being a boy doent have any sorts of problems like these..Hmm...a typical girl's life has to undergo many problems like these n all rite..So bad.Cant say anythin as a solution to this..But if we react to those people strongly when they do any mischief like this i hope it will be reduced!! :(

ss said...

@PRAVEEN
not necessary that every girl has to go thru something like this, but as I alreadys aid UNFORTUNATELY thats wat happens.and theres nothing like reacting bac to the pervert.